dessaye

Search for a member

Offline (17 hours ago)

dessaye

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 December 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7149
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 51 posted

About dessaye : hi

dessaye's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:08am<b>tehman117</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>Guard_Babe</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:50pm<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:00pm<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 10:21am<b>eagleriverjohn</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:23pm<b>tangus</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:33am<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:17am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:13pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:14am<b>silon5</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:59am<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 11:31pm<b>crazy080</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 8:49pm<b>bananagoat</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 9:31am<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:55am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 12:12am<b>spillett12</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:08pm

dessaye's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of dessaye's badges

dessaye's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

by theshad / 09/10/2010 at 2:28am / Reserved / Work

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

by Busted / 07/26/2010 at 8:26am / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

by cheekymac / 06/09/2010 at 11:13am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

by sadcat / 02/06/2010 at 10:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

by Crap / 01/28/2010 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

by .... / 12/31/2009 at 1:23am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

by Dontworryaboutit / 12/28/2009 at 5:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

by mclovin09 / 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

by missmycomp / 11/12/2009 at 9:36am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2009 at 6:23am / Singapore / Kids

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous