Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dessaye

Search for a member

dessaye
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 December 1979 (34 years)
  • Number of visits : 5101
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 51 posted

About dessaye : Delia. Desmond. Dessy.
http://deliaphilia.tumblr.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/dsiredestiny
http://www.thesims3.com/mypage/dessysaurus

dessaye's last visitors

OnlyAvailableIDAllornonebananagoattralala453haylburgMiracleBryceCovenant74mangoboy1

dessaye's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of dessaye's badges

dessaye's favorite FMLs

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

#15352953
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (6139)

On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12638) - you deserved it (24210)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34102) - you deserved it (9242)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (18268)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (17190)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (17190)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (17190)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32018) - you deserved it (3464)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

#11078150
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25385) - you deserved it (4659)

On 06/09/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by cheekymac - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (8008)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6587) - you deserved it (22762)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (11989)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: