dessaye

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Offline (11 hours ago)

dessaye

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 December 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7145
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 51 posted

About dessaye : hi

dessaye's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:08am<b>tehman117</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>Guard_Babe</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:50pm<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:00pm<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 10:21am<b>eagleriverjohn</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:23pm<b>tangus</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:33am<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:17am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:13pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:14am<b>silon5</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:59am<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 11:31pm<b>crazy080</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 8:49pm<b>bananagoat</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 9:31am<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:55am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 12:12am<b>spillett12</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:08pm

dessaye's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of dessaye's badges

dessaye's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm / United States / Love

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

by magicman / 04/26/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

by Username / 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

by gummy bear / 01/21/2011 at 6:41am / Love

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

by drunkfacebookuser / 10/23/2010 at 9:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

by deadinavan / 10/13/2010 at 8:57am / Germany (Bayern) / Transportation

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

by hunnybaby0319 / 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

by theshad / 09/10/2010 at 2:28am / Reserved / Work

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

by theshad / 09/10/2010 at 2:28am / Reserved / Work