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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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dessaye

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dessaye
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1979 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 3294
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 6 confirmed out of 45 posted

About dessaye : http://www.youtube.com/user/dsiredestiny
http://www.thesims3.com/mypage/dessysaurus
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dessaye's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (3692)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard - Reserved

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (9770) - you deserved it (1465) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (1533) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (5018)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

#15352953 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (19689) - you deserved it (4892)

On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (2276)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (10218) - you deserved it (18532)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (12687) - you deserved it (34945)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (8411)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (13431)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (5475) - you deserved it (15608)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

#11078150 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (3568)

On 06/09/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by cheekymac - United Kingdom (Manchester)