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desoto96

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desoto96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 848
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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desoto96's page activity

Visits<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 6:33am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:31am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:12pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 7:41am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:19am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:34pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:40pm<b>bmon</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:00pm<b>NotSoThere</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 7:59am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:18am<b>cjcjcjx</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>KU_Jayhawk</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>zearow</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:22am<b>Rain4Tears</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:46am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:27am<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>babyladuke</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:00am

desoto96's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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desoto96's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30742) - you deserved it (2122)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (4761)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML

#19612373
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

#18798370
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18596) - you deserved it (13022)

On 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13016) - you deserved it (41305)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

#18275537
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (6923)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42422) - you deserved it (5075)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

#17780072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (6292)

On 09/19/2011 at 11:56am - work - by Lexiebear27 - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7855) - you deserved it (60679)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35328) - you deserved it (4487)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51075) - you deserved it (5378)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my brother is engaged to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. This comes almost two months after my brother divorced ANOTHER ex-girlfriend of mine. FML

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (3619)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

#5222087
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (12817)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:17am - health - by beaten (man) - United States (Idaho)



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