desoto96

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desoto96

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1242
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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desoto96's page activity

Visits<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:46pm<b>stvnmailloux</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 9:59am<b>StetsonSalvatore</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:19am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:19pm<b>Ideastogetback</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:29am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:58pm<b>deathmec</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 6:51am<b>foreverafighter</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:58pm<b>kgj78202</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:49pm<b>guskta</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:42am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:44am<b>mip_92</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:49pm<b>noahx</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:06pm<b>thelion9876</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:23am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:06am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Amiiii</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:59pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:20am

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:06am

desoto96's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of desoto96's badges

desoto96's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

by racking-leaves / 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

by cowgirl / 11/06/2012 at 12:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

by Ugggggggggg / 11/06/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 9:09am / United States / Health

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

by not as scarred as he should be / 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

by AbandonedHouseWife / 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

by Faker / 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

by fiftyno / 10/01/2012 at 11:02am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

by CaptainSaveAHoe / 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

by BuspassBob / 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm / United States / Money