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desoto96

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desoto96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 801
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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desoto96's page activity

Visits<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:19am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:34pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:40pm<b>bmon</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:00pm<b>NotSoThere</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 7:59am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:18am<b>cjcjcjx</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>KU_Jayhawk</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>zearow</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:22am<b>Rain4Tears</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:46am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:27am<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>babyladuke</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:00am<b>curticus</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 12:13pm<b>jtacket3</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:00am

desoto96's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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desoto96's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (5631)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19669) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (4290)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18515) - you deserved it (4433)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17723) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (2169)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (1491)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (1311)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (4725)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (3490)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (6556)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

#20066208
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (5759)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm - money - by BuspassBob - United States



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