derogers

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derogers

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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derogers's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of derogers's badges

derogers's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

by ironic driver / 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

by anonymous / 05/04/2011 at 6:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

by ima nerd / 12/25/2010 at 2:31am / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

by katelouise2102 / 11/29/2010 at 7:39am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

by Mikimiks93 / 07/02/2010 at 11:05am / South Africa (Limpopo) / Transportation

Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML

by frapples1 / 12/21/2009 at 2:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML

by tawan / 12/04/2009 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML

by Drim / 11/25/2009 at 12:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

by sleepwalker / 11/21/2009 at 8:33pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy