Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deputy_g

Search for a member

deputy_g

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2006
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About deputy_g : personal sammich maker to sweet candy

like superheroes

msg me

also in the military

deputy_g's page activity

Visits<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:00am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:51pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Cassie4840</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 12:52am<b>hockey_guy71</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 10:07am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:26am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:25am<b>leagacysgirl</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:29pm<b>ThatOnePerson97</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:16am<b>capt_awesome25</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:36am<b>SininenAave</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:10pm<b>Megan_Ashley</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:33pm<b>belleVvv</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 1:44pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:05pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 10:52pm<b>ihatebob</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 12:43pm<b>Kyle0228</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 9:27am<b>anAshyBlackGuy</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 2:54am

deputy_g's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of deputy_g's badges

deputy_g's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

#13842104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (4969)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by sad gf -

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (17979)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (4342)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30090) - you deserved it (2953)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

#13807463
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6287) - you deserved it (16451)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML

#13803743
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26749) - you deserved it (3839)

On 11/11/2010 at 4:40pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

#13801861
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (4147)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:11pm - health - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

#13789664
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6149) - you deserved it (54815)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6889) - you deserved it (45070)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46748) - you deserved it (17215)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

#13777166
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16154) - you deserved it (4478)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:17pm - work - by drooooooool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8463) - you deserved it (30955)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (7460)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (7085)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8800) - you deserved it (25826)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: