About deputy_g : personal sammich maker to sweet candy
like superheroes
msg me
also in the military
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Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (44228)
On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (2231)
On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31658) - you deserved it (3310)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (3544)
On 05/01/2011 at 1:50am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (4884)
On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (47379)
On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (47379)
On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (7109)
On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (7109)
On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10347) - you deserved it (36054)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (22351)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24118) - you deserved it (3266)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4889) - you deserved it (37545)
On 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm - money - by 2dumb2drive - United States
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15680) - you deserved it (8646)
On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (18784)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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