Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deng314

Search for a member

deng314

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1524
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About deng314 : I'm just ur average 23 year old woman. I work hard, love hard, and know how to have a good time. Quick witted, and sarcastic as hell, I love my husband, love my dogs, love tattoos, a good drink and good friends to share it with!

deng314's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:25am<b>CravenCat</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 9:11pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:01am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 9:32pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:20am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 6:42am<b>xbread</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:45am<b>MissKylie</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 1:52am<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:29am<b>ancientera</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:51pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:22am<b>ez2LOVE</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:27am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:59am<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:21am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:43pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:52am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:31pm

deng314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deng314's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (23859)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58266) - you deserved it (3132)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (3595)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (2542)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42140) - you deserved it (3700)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34300) - you deserved it (2588)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

#7351107
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:07am - love - by hesaidwhat - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13789) - you deserved it (31447)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39330) - you deserved it (5538)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you deserved it (6127)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: