deng314

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deng314

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1642
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About deng314 : I'm just ur average 23 year old woman. I work hard, love hard, and know how to have a good time. Quick witted, and sarcastic as hell, I love my husband, love my dogs, love tattoos, a good drink and good friends to share it with!

deng314's page activity

Visits<b>jughead2994</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 5:57pm<b>AlphaDuckPlayer</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 7:14pm<b>Deathbearr</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:38pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:52pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:50pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:25am<b>CravenCat</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 9:11pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:01am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 9:32pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 9:20am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 6:42am<b>xbread</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:45am<b>MissKylie</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 1:52am<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:29am<b>ancientera</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:51pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:22am<b>ez2LOVE</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:27am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:59am

deng314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deng314's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

by pain / 02/26/2010 at 5:23am / Japan / Love

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

by Hayleey_079 / 02/18/2010 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

by hesaidwhat / 01/15/2010 at 12:07am / United States / Love

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming / 01/03/2010 at 11:28am / United States (California) / Health