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demitheleopard

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demitheleopard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 659
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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demitheleopard's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:08pm<b>xxSatansAngelxx</b> - the 08/09/2011 at 4:10pm<b>Sandy300073</b> - the 07/22/2011 at 12:49am

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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demitheleopard's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44892) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

#17635803
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31789) - you deserved it (5756)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26847) - you deserved it (10021)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30194) - you deserved it (5658)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58088) - you deserved it (7177)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (9526)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (4686)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (4485)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37134) - you deserved it (11864)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37134) - you deserved it (11864)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65302) - you deserved it (11508)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12637) - you deserved it (57880)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (6087)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (117019)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69745) - you deserved it (6565)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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