deltecwifi

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 9:14am)

deltecwifi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1986
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

deltecwifi's page activity

Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

deltecwifi's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of deltecwifi's badges

deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

by nazirah4shizzle / 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

by brittrus / 05/08/2015 at 9:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

by pleasedie / 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

by why? / 05/01/2015 at 9:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

by WasNotAdopted / 04/28/2015 at 9:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

by Zach / 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

by khaoslife / 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health