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deltecwifi

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deltecwifi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1357
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's page activity

Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (367) - you deserved it (48819)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (2976)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117) - you deserved it (4931)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (20553)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86) - you deserved it (201)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (3137)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30277) - you deserved it (19285)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30581) - you deserved it (3317)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (4621)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (5021)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32377) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (11902)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML



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