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deltecwifi

Offline (the 02/03/2016 at 9:09am) | Search for a member

deltecwifi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1790
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's page activity

Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

#21417917
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34087) - you deserved it (3150)

On 05/30/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26649) - you deserved it (4374)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33929) - you deserved it (3657)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (4052)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (11943)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
69 comments

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (3268)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32179) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35804) - you deserved it (6411)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (3902)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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