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deltecwifi

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deltecwifi
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 308
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (8935)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46530) - you deserved it (15542)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38993) - you deserved it (9481)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41879) - you deserved it (5450)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47276) - you deserved it (5527)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47347) - you deserved it (5030)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (10143)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (54277)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34642) - you deserved it (18566)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39246) - you deserved it (8411)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49805) - you deserved it (7364)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

#21031092
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50616) - you deserved it (7056)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by lauralai22 (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48881) - you deserved it (10474)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57302) - you deserved it (4741)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52921) - you deserved it (4597)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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