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deltecwifi

Offline (the 02/03/2016 at 9:09am) | Search for a member

deltecwifi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1795
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's page activity

Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46781) - you deserved it (7312)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43183) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (5010)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (10611)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
78 comments

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45503) - you deserved it (5441)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43231) - you deserved it (6805)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43880) - you deserved it (5263)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53182) - you deserved it (9550)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40413) - you deserved it (11277)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (9450) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46418) - you deserved it (7103)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41084) - you deserved it (5211)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47179) - you deserved it (16757)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)



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