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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Yesterday, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea fir weeks. He endd up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freakd out and panickd about what my parents would say. Then his laughter remindd me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today, Away At College, I Called Mah Grandmother To Hear How She Was Doing After Her Knee Surgery. She Ended Up Talking About Hooters And How I Should Work There Cuz Of Mah "rare Body". When I Mentioned I've Been Studying Computer Science, Earning A 3.8 GPA, She Replied, "But Your A Grl." FML
Today, I realizd mah job working with food is getting to me . While having sex with mah boyfriend, I fell asleep . He askd me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talkd, saying "I'm chopping lettuce" . FML
Today, I caught mah grlfriend Googling how to uninstall Sri. I askd y she wantd to do that, and she said, "I don't lyk it. I don't lyk how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll ned a gunhen I break up with this crazy fucker. mega FML
Today..!! I was having sex with mah boyfriend in his car!! We were in the front seat and I was on top!! My ass hit the horn and scard mah boyfriend so bad..!! he jumpd..!! causing me to hit mah head so hard that I swear I got a concussion!! big fat FML
TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND GAVE ME MY FRST HANDJOB. I WAS NERVOUS... SOHEN SHE WENT TO DO IT... I PANICKD AND YELLD... "FRMLY GRASP IT!" SHE THEN COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING CUZ IT WAS A LINE FROM SPONGEBOB. FML
Friday 27 March 2015