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deltecwifi

Offline (the 02/10/2016 at 11:47am) | Search for a member

deltecwifi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1813
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's page activity

Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

#21472345
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (2137)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm - misc - by whatdidimarry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML

#21471997
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11404) - you deserved it (26096)

On 09/23/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by stardustveins (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

#21469191
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (1746)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Urinator - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

#21468528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (17990)

On 09/14/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by C BOMB (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

#21467707
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (1758)

On 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm - kids - by auraya1985 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

#21466376
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22169) - you deserved it (4846)

On 09/09/2015 at 1:09am - health - by davetherave1983 (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (7453)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29820) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

#21460549
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25133) - you deserved it (1753)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

#21459209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (7688)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:18am - intimacy - by fuck no (woman) - India (Kerala)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

#21459180
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23522) - you deserved it (2883)

On 08/22/2015 at 3:30am - animals - by yooitscallo (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

#21458335
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (2444)

On 08/20/2015 at 2:02am - love - by Catsfordays - United States (California)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25967) - you deserved it (10341)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)



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