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deltecwifi

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deltecwifi
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 315
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42394) - you deserved it (5000)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (21761)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (3309)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35247) - you deserved it (4899)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (4730)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45270) - you deserved it (11008)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

#21094457
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37505) - you deserved it (3507)

On 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36559) - you deserved it (3846)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46409) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (4204)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34078) - you deserved it (3515)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (14172)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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