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deltecwifi

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deltecwifi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1273
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's page activity

Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14838) - you deserved it (1644)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19134) - you deserved it (1506)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (1871)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (4422)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (7187)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (2676)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

#21443781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25221) - you deserved it (1820)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by padthaimeanoose - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2777)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32876) - you deserved it (2316)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23575) - you deserved it (19449)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (10722)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML

#21439345
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (14359)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:27am - kids - by clutzymama (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)



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