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deltecwifi

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deltecwifi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 869
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31649) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (17630)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (3726)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33977) - you deserved it (4995)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (2425)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (10495)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27530) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30794) - you deserved it (10205)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32732) - you deserved it (2469)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35107) - you deserved it (6738)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (6510)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (6510)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)



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