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deltecwifi

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deltecwifi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 754
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deltecwifi's page activity

Visits<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:36am

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deltecwifi's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (4510)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29570) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (9737)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30033) - you deserved it (9951)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (2463)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (6734)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34700) - you deserved it (6480)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34700) - you deserved it (6480)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (3656)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34259) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (3703)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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