delta32

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delta32

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 810
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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delta32's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:00am

delta32's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

delta32's favorite FMLs

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

by christinabear / 04/15/2009 at 1:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

by LizLiao / 04/14/2009 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

by anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

by Lifeguard / 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

by Julie / 03/30/2009 at 9:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

by VampiresSayRawr / 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

by The_HML / 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Maryland) / Holidays

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

by Dansonn / 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

by kaichennnxx / 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

by 12incher / 03/15/2009 at 12:45am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

by Jon / 03/14/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous