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delta32

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delta32

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 625
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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delta32's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53214) - you deserved it (2547)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

#5585947
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (4970)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (3497)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (12266)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54097) - you deserved it (4868)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43585) - you deserved it (6794)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14350) - you deserved it (48894)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68734) - you deserved it (5052)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#4196733
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56246) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

#3969079
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50309) - you deserved it (8762)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54966) - you deserved it (9138)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (55291)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

#3604059
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17759) - you deserved it (56651)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

#3493845
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48987) - you deserved it (6199)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by bridezilla (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (44801)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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