defferwa

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defferwa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5029
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About defferwa : I'm awesome

defferwa's page activity

Visits<b>Timmip12</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:55am<b>lushgum</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:38pm<b>iain0910</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:21am<b>Loewe90</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:23pm<b>jenniferwoods41</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:11pm<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:56pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:25am<b>Lauren324</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:03pm<b>get428</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:05am<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 11:15pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:50pm<b>XistingPrince</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:49pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 2:37am<b>masaega222</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:35am<b>xlord</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 7:33pm<b>lildevilpiggy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 6:59pm<b>SinfulTragedy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 4:42pm

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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defferwa's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

by Kelly / 08/02/2012 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

by joleezad5 / 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

by Arthurie / 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous