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TODAY, AFTER BIENG TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH A GUY SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL, I FINALLY HAD ENOUGH SELF CONFIDENCE TO GO AN TALK TO HIM!! TURNS OUT HE'S BORING AS FUCK!! I OBSESSED OVER THIS GUY FOR NEARLY 4 YEARS!! FML
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me askd if she could use phone. As I handd it to her, I attemptd to use the expression "knock yourself out," but 4 a reason I can still not fathom, it cummd out as "kill yourself." FML
Today... I tried role playing wit ma boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie... I announced... "I'm Natalia... a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian an yur cock." He lauged so ard e practically pissed imself. Te nigt ended in me doing is laundry. Alone.
Today , while at a pool party , I found out the reason I got my new , white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet!! I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling!! FML
Today,hile looking through the camera mah boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at looool him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
Today , I found out wy cat asn't been coming ome for regular meals . Apparently , elderly next door neigbour as forgotten tat er cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning . My cat is exploiting er by impersonating er dead cat to get better food . My cat is an assole .
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstars. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole u didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML
Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally askd me out. I excitedly said yes. I waitd a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl an say, "Where's your date?" I was askd to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML
Friday 27 March 2015