defferwa

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defferwa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5010
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About defferwa : I'm awesome

defferwa's page activity

Visits<b>Timmip12</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:55am<b>lushgum</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:38pm<b>iain0910</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:21am<b>Loewe90</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:23pm<b>jenniferwoods41</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:11pm<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:56pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:25am<b>Lauren324</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:03pm<b>get428</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:05am<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 11:15pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:50pm<b>XistingPrince</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:49pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 2:37am<b>masaega222</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:35am<b>xlord</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 7:33pm<b>lildevilpiggy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 6:59pm<b>SinfulTragedy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 4:42pm

defferwa's FML badges

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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defferwa's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

by orilykid / 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

by le_evan / 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

by Medic / 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

by onlyme / 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm / United States / Money

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

by wtactualfuck :( / 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

by SFra / 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm / United States / Love

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

by Dinger1992 / 10/23/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Money

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Intimacy