Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

defferwa

Search for a member

defferwa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2477
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About defferwa : I'm awesome

defferwa's page activity

Visits<b>Loewe90</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:23pm<b>jenniferwoods41</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:11pm<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:56pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:25am<b>Lauren324</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:03pm<b>get428</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:05am<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 11:15pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:50pm<b>XistingPrince</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:49pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 2:37am<b>masaega222</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:35am<b>xlord</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 7:33pm<b>lildevilpiggy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 6:59pm<b>SinfulTragedy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 4:42pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 2:28pm<b>kittenmeownyan</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 12:38pm<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 11:59am

defferwa's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of defferwa's badges

defferwa's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (7552)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (2245)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (1620)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (5920)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24021) - you deserved it (5929)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24021) - you deserved it (5929)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8820) - you deserved it (29805)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (1947)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (2597)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11168) - you deserved it (36124)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (2771)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12871) - you deserved it (28033)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: