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Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you deserved it (1587)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (7967)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13240) - you deserved it (14130)
On 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm - health - by burr415 (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11632) - you deserved it (29654)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (16567)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13355) - you deserved it (34275)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (4595)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7821) - you deserved it (43705)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6397) - you deserved it (15369)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)
Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16799) - you deserved it (2852)
On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30457) - you deserved it (8683)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13925) - you deserved it (1694)
On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (7435)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19219) - you deserved it (10432)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (2046)
On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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