defferwa

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defferwa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4334
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About defferwa : I'm awesome

defferwa's page activity

Visits<b>Timmip12</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:55am<b>lushgum</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:38pm<b>iain0910</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:21am<b>Loewe90</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:23pm<b>jenniferwoods41</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:11pm<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:56pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:25am<b>Lauren324</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:03pm<b>get428</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:05am<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 11:15pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:50pm<b>XistingPrince</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 10:49pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 2:37am<b>masaega222</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:35am<b>xlord</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 7:33pm<b>lildevilpiggy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 6:59pm<b>SinfulTragedy</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 4:42pm

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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defferwa's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

by finallyready / 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

by WellShit / 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2012 at 3:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

by slenderman908 / 12/10/2012 at 6:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love