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deedoubles

Offline (the 05/24/2015 at 4:48am) | Search for a member

deedoubles

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2897
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>trevieh690</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:46pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:29pm<b>antoniasiddall</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 9:14am<b>Makaze</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:10pm<b>tannara</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 1:51pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:25pm<b>Mizzesbestie</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:54pm<b>ErictheRed</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 3:37pm

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deedoubles's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (7203)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9406) - you deserved it (52781)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (8199)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (5260)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (6711)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (4157)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (12720)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (3557)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (4826)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46674) - you deserved it (7964)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (2737)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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