decko44

Search for a member

decko44

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7057
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About decko44 : If you can read this STOP BEING A CREEPER!!! OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!

decko44's page activity

Visits<b>sylveon</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 7:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:47am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:24am<b>umadbromad</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>StarWolf111</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:02pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/29/2011 at 5:12pm

Fucked!<b>umadbromad</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 4:44am

decko44's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of decko44's badges

decko44's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I cleaned my computer screen for the first time in ages. When I turned it on a few hours later, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out why the brightness was suddenly so painfully high. FML

by strokingitasitype / 04/07/2012 at 3:12pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

by anonomous / 04/07/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

by anonomous / 04/07/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

by day001313 / 04/07/2012 at 12:32am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

by beagle1 / 04/03/2012 at 11:10am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

by spanishsucks / 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I received a call from the company I applied to, only to have my father pick it up and make fun of the man's accent. They won't call me back or take any of my calls, and my dad is completely unapologetic. FML

by Bashit / 03/31/2012 at 9:00pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Work