Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

decko44

Search for a member

decko44

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3848
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About decko44 : If you can read this STOP BEING A CREEPER!!! OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!

decko44's page activity

Visits<b>StarWolf111</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:02pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/29/2011 at 5:12pm

decko44's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of decko44's badges

decko44's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6873) - you deserved it (46903)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I cleaned my computer screen for the first time in ages. When I turned it on a few hours later, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out why the brightness was suddenly so painfully high. FML

#19424189
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5742) - you deserved it (22961)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:12pm - misc - by strokingitasitype (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13731) - you deserved it (40446)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13731) - you deserved it (40446)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

#19421032
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9445) - you deserved it (50230)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12577) - you deserved it (29578)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7666) - you deserved it (35797)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (4533)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

#19400552
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (2025)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

#19392856
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (1979)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

#19385390
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a call from the company I applied to, only to have my father pick it up and make fun of the man's accent. They won't call me back or take any of my calls, and my dad is completely unapologetic. FML

#19384586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23804) - you deserved it (1642)

On 03/31/2012 at 9:00pm - work - by Bashit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

#19381201
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (19413)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: