About decko44 : If you can read this STOP BEING A CREEPER!!! OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!
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decko44's favorite FMLs
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by Scabby / 04/11/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
by Becca / 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by uhhh what? / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by awwman / 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my anxiety was so bad that when I was riding my bike on the side walk and two pedestrians came walking in the opposite direction, I got so nervous about having to go between them or accidentally hitting them that I fell off my bike, into a bush. FML
by sydstreet / 04/09/2012 at 1:31am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML
by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by jess / 04/08/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway.… Today, after 6 months of university, sex was finally had in my bed. Unfortunately, I had no part in… Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my…