About decko44 : If you can read this STOP BEING A CREEPER!!! OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!
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decko44's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML
by Charles / 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML
by micheal / 06/21/2011 at 12:52pm / United States / Work
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
by no one / 06/19/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Money
by whymyliferose / 06/03/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by AndieApocalypse / 06/03/2011 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
by littlegirl / 05/07/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML
by Gem / 02/11/2011 at 5:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek
by skyhigh / 01/13/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Money