About decko44 : If you can read this STOP BEING A CREEPER!!! OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!
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decko44's favorite FMLs
Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML
by varsity soccer player / 08/19/2011 at 5:08pm / United States (New York) / Geek
by ifailsobadly / 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
by teeth / 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by ApparentDrugAddict / 08/08/2011 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by a-mishunderstanding / 08/08/2011 at 12:07am / Work
Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
by cargaljen / 08/07/2011 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
by Username / 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm / United States / Work
by preggo / 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
by NaomiMadison / 07/30/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Kids
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
by ninja_blasphemer / 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous
by allycat / 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing… Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my… Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my…