About decko44 : If you can read this STOP BEING A CREEPER!!! OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!
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decko44's favorite FMLs
by SocialAnxietyNightmare / 02/09/2012 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML
by whyme / 02/07/2012 at 1:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals
by KDM / 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by me / 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by dumb mother / 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by cbad / 01/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Health
Today, my grandfather sent everyone in my family an email thanking them for the photo we got him. I'd bought the frame, edited the picture, and delivered it to him. All everyone else did was show up and complain while the picture was being taken. I'm the only one who didn't get a thank you email. FML
by the forgotten one / 01/29/2012 at 10:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by maryfaithh / 01/27/2012 at 11:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me… Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it… Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours…