deathbybutterfly

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deathbybutterfly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27393
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deathbybutterfly's page activity

Visits<b>mcsammo11</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 4:51pm<b>iqbaleh</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:31am<b>robdesaint</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:20am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:12pm<b>Goodtoyou</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 6:57pm<b>123Kasey321</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 7:38pm<b>Contrius</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 11:49am<b>Shanny</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 6:44pm<b>sarah__tehe__</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 9:10pm<b>babygirl89</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 2:05pm<b>jokerssmile</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 8:00pm<b>hillier</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 4:03pm<b>bi_chick</b> - the 04/09/2009 at 12:02pm<b>DuhhhItsJustin</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 12:22am<b>marykateex3</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 6:30pm<b>timemaster666666</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 6:10pm

deathbybutterfly's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathbybutterfly's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

by Kelavmeister / 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 10:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

by cavgirl / 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

by thatwasmiz / 04/08/2009 at 2:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy