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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dearladydisdain

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dearladydisdain
  • Town/Country : DC, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 May 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 11340
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dearladydisdain : i like reading about people whose lives suck as much or more than mine.

dearladydisdain's last visitors

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dearladydisdain's favorite FMLs

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (4713) - you deserved it (36913)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss made me some Tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my number 1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them. FML

#8576368 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (19245) - you deserved it (3641)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML

#5466637 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (11501)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

#4762476 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (2525)

On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (67483) - you deserved it (5187)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34985) - you deserved it (98555)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (3968)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (41993) - you deserved it (1935)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (16589) - you deserved it (41420)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (111569) - you deserved it (26061)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

#1358275 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (78240) - you deserved it (3569)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57263) - you deserved it (14847)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (210210)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (245212) - you deserved it (32782)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)