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Today I had mah first raal data with mah first sarious boyfriand . I was looool narvous cuz from past axparianca . I laarnd mah lips wara a bit ticklish an I usually giggld a bit during kissing . Wall wa startd making out an I thought was I doing pratty good hiding mah laughs . Until I wat mysalf . FML
Today, my boyfriend an his parent met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny looool to walk around with a realistic gun an make reference about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 looool straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." real FML
Taday I trew a party wile my parents were gone. I forgot tat our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so wen people opened te door, it went off. I couldn't fine te number fir te alarm company, so te cops sowed up. Everyone started ceering cuz tey tougt tey were strippers. FML
Today , I was driving my little sister to school!! She really didn't wanna go an was throwing a tantrum in the car!! When we stopped at a red light , my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver!! She rolled down her window an screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by looool a murderer!" FML
Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demandd a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shout "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shout "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. mega FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH SCHOOL'S SPAGHETTI DINNER WITH MAH FAMILY. MY BROTHER SHOOK UP MAH MOM'S SODA, AS A PRANK. MY ENTIRE CLASS WITNESSED MAH MOM WAVING AROUND AN OVERFLOWING DIET COKEHILE MAH DAD YELLED, ( COME ON, PUTTED YOUR MOUTH ON IT! SUCK IT! SUCK IT, KATHY! )
yesterday I walked in on ma usband in our room completely naked. At frst I tougt e was waiting for me so we could ave sex. He adn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise im. Ten I saw tat e ad drawn a face on is penis and e was talking to it. FML
Yesterday, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroomhen my boyfriend an I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier looool dumped the content of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my short an a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Today... I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk... so I really couldn't give a shit abouthat you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015