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Today, I was at soccer camp and was hit in the face with a ball. I walked to the nurse and asked for a napkin or tissues to help stop the bleeding. The only thing she could come up with? A tampon. I spent 20 minutes with a tampon shoved up my nostril in front of my laughing teammates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you totally deserved it (1626)
On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27493) - you totally deserved it (1525)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5231) - you totally deserved it (27182)
On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you totally deserved it (9720)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you totally deserved it (25549)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28014) - you totally deserved it (1997)
On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you totally deserved it (1387)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8113) - you totally deserved it (23992)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you totally deserved it (2628)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you totally deserved it (4281)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom found a new favorite game. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and still have not been able to find a job (months after graduating college). Due to this stress I cry easily, her game? Seeing how many times a day she can make me boo-hoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you totally deserved it (4988)
On 09/09/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by sadchick (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you totally deserved it (2511)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you totally deserved it (29504)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46784) - you totally deserved it (3352)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that i had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5467) - you totally deserved it (38713)
On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
