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ddavong

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ddavong

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  • Number of visits : 803
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ddavong's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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ddavong's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6439) - you deserved it (72154)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (2409)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13171) - you deserved it (41407)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (2797)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

#19363371
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8900) - you deserved it (25166)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (1807)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42146) - you deserved it (9147)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

#18877531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (7049)

On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (2765)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40028) - you deserved it (9438)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35104) - you deserved it (8159)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (19896)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (9397)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14901) - you deserved it (64455)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML

#16659008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (12546)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by mimabee - United States (Indiana)



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