dazzle_me_lovely

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dazzle_me_lovely

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5816
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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dazzle_me_lovely's page activity

Visits<b>polishguy05</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:38pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 3:47am<b>kaet</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 11:01am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 11:44am<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:18pm<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:10pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:19am<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:53pm<b>DismissedOwl5</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:13am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:34am<b>GeneratorHalf</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:50pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:46am<b>kingakbari</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:53am<b>khaledaes1</b> - the 06/25/2012 at 11:11am<b>kerensa</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 6:49am<b>ranger1989</b> - the 04/04/2012 at 3:14am<b>Souman</b> - the 04/01/2012 at 9:45pm<b>strength413</b> - the 03/22/2012 at 12:06pm

Fucked!<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:18pm

dazzle_me_lovely's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of dazzle_me_lovely's badges

dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

by Aberrombie Blue / 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

by kimhinesvoinea / 04/07/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

by aaaaahhhh / 04/06/2013 at 4:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

by unknown / 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm / France / Love

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

by crunknasty / 03/30/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

by Appelflap / 03/29/2013 at 6:18pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous