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dazzle_me_lovely

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dazzle_me_lovely

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3654
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Visits<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:10pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:19am<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:53pm<b>DismissedOwl5</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:13am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:34am<b>GeneratorHalf</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:50pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:46am<b>kingakbari</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:53am<b>khaledaes1</b> - the 06/25/2012 at 11:11am<b>kerensa</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 6:49am<b>ranger1989</b> - the 04/04/2012 at 3:14am<b>Souman</b> - the 04/01/2012 at 9:45pm<b>strength413</b> - the 03/22/2012 at 12:06pm

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dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs

Today , I bought a device that plays a high-pitchd sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to leren that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough , she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (6202)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

yesterday I found out y we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year . My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time . She's 31 . FML

#20806007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47304) - you deserved it (3750)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I RETURND FROM A LONG BUSINES TRIP A DAY EARLY TO SURPRISE WIFE. SHE WAS SLEEPING, SO I CLIMBD INTO BD AND STARTD SPOONING HER. THINKING I WAS AN INTRUDER, SHE SIMULTANEOUSLY KICKD ME IN THE GROIN, ELBOWD ME IN THE RIBS, AND SMACKD THE BACK OF HER HEAD INTO JAW. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (24610)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100062) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere... a car slowd down in the street... an a passenger screamd ( HAPPY 4TH OF JULY... MOTHERFUCKER... ) before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46257) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discoverd that looool when mah husband agred to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination . FML

#20762781
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66632) - you deserved it (5781)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 second off her record swim time . When I asked her how she did it, she replied, ( Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can . ) She's just been taking her time all these yeres . fat FML

#20759731
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47796) - you deserved it (5052)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60092) - you deserved it (3932)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while having sex with mah husband, he accidentally elbowd me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemd to turn him on an he climaxd immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55686) - you deserved it (5498)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73251) - you deserved it (7239)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me . I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend . He hasn't stopped laughing . FML

#20724232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53456) - you deserved it (6539)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

2day I Startd Playing Softball Again In A League After Not Playing For About 5 Years. My Very First Time At Te Bat Iackd A Foul Ball Into Te Parking Lot An It My Own Car. FML

#20724193
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (6272)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60443) - you deserved it (5443)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

today I tried to lift mah looool grlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then hered a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated mah kneecap trying to be romantic. She only wieghs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (12313)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, ma estrangd fater, wo is a cop, decidd to sow up to ma 17t birtday party. He immediately began arresting people fir underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46971) - you deserved it (24007)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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