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dazzle_me_lovely

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dazzle_me_lovely

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3020
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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dazzle_me_lovely's page activity

Visits<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:53pm<b>DismissedOwl5</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:13am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:34am<b>GeneratorHalf</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:50pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:46am<b>kingakbari</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:53am<b>khaledaes1</b> - the 06/25/2012 at 11:11am<b>kerensa</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 6:49am<b>ranger1989</b> - the 04/04/2012 at 3:14am<b>Souman</b> - the 04/01/2012 at 9:45pm<b>strength413</b> - the 03/22/2012 at 12:06pm

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dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45113) - you deserved it (13899)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (4415)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (15053)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54801) - you deserved it (4578)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57700) - you deserved it (6712)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46941) - you deserved it (19370)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50768) - you deserved it (5602)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54232) - you deserved it (6162)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (17157)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (4889)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (44075)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59238) - you deserved it (6544)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54529) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52813) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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