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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6640
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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dazzle_me_lovely's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 2:50pm<b>SerpentGameplay</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 6:32pm<b>polishguy05</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:38pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 3:47am<b>kaet</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 11:01am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 11:44am<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:18pm<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:10pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:19am<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:53pm<b>DismissedOwl5</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:13am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:34am<b>GeneratorHalf</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:50pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:46am<b>kingakbari</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:53am<b>khaledaes1</b> - the 06/25/2012 at 11:11am<b>kerensa</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 6:49am<b>ranger1989</b> - the 04/04/2012 at 3:14am

Fucked!<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:18pm

dazzle_me_lovely's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of dazzle_me_lovely's badges

dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Health

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 2:38am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 11:05pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

by ewicsmelly / 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2010 at 12:10am / Indonesia / Work

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

by momoffour / 12/05/2010 at 4:30am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

by Username / 11/29/2010 at 9:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 12:57am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

by yay! / 11/08/2010 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

by nurse / 11/03/2010 at 8:08am / Reserved / Work

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids