Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dazzle_me_lovely

Search for a member

dazzle_me_lovely
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2257
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dazzle_me_lovely's last visitors

ireply_wlyricskingakbariSoumanstrength413

dazzle_me_lovely's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of dazzle_me_lovely's badges

dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14962) - you deserved it (44134)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (6622) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

#14574374
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (2829)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46726) - you deserved it (8128)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

#14415862
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8093) - you deserved it (33217)

On 12/31/2010 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (39859)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

#14242273
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (6495)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

#14160788
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Indonesia

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

#14092737
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (2068)

On 12/05/2010 at 4:30am - misc - by momoffour (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

#14022149
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (2667)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (13680)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (7381)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6236) - you deserved it (26530)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (4417)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (4361)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: