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dazzle_me_lovely

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dazzle_me_lovely
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2280
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (5770)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML

#16040726
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (7166)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:41am - misc - by kayt240 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13261) - you deserved it (58285)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10138) - you deserved it (28942)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28186) - you deserved it (3959)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (31306)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

#15635122
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40448) - you deserved it (2987)

On 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm - love - by carolinagirl (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

#15493619
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (15175)

On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

#15377212
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34206) - you deserved it (4039)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by dollarstorepwnr (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (8214)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40174) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

#14897237
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28050) - you deserved it (2150)

On 02/08/2011 at 4:39pm - health - by scratchy -

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

#14815475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19409) - you deserved it (5141)

On 02/02/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by hehe -



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