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Mobility
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Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (94413)
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42898) - you deserved it (5433)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48373) - you deserved it (6848)
On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (7801)
On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48353) - you deserved it (5780)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42322) - you deserved it (8122)
On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (16212)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)
Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (10492)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37768) - you deserved it (10790)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12233) - you deserved it (29546)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34980) - you deserved it (15530)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45596) - you deserved it (4128)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32318) - you deserved it (5021)
On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (4372)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28393) - you deserved it (1404)
On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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