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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
by horriblefashionsense / 09/26/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids
by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by GogurtBadass / 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML
by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML
by somethingblue / 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Robert / 09/12/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 10:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Iskylite / 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how…