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dazzle_me_lovely's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy
by ericabearr / 11/18/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML
by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by LockedOut / 11/02/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Love
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health
by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML
by SharkWeek / 10/27/2013 at 11:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by cantcloselegs / 10/20/2013 at 8:39am / United States / Health
Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by easily amused / 10/12/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Kids
Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML
by broke_broken / 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm / United States (Utah) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…