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dayzz1

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dayzz1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1584
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dayzz1 : Chillin

dayzz1's page activity

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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dayzz1's favorite FMLs

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

#19446242
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (2089)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm - health - by baugy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

#19446242
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (2089)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm - health - by baugy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

#19429984
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (8453)

On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12585) - you deserved it (29599)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML

#19376505
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (2621)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm - kids - by MDWilde (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

#19363731
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (4575)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by 3hoursleftofwork (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

#19363371
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8880) - you deserved it (25115)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

#19361300
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (8107)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by ouchouchouch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

#19359815
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (4067)

On 03/27/2012 at 9:08pm - health - by Anna - United States

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (23161)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I joined a dating site. The first guy it recommended is the stalker I met on the last dating site I used. FML

#19356489
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (4290)

On 03/27/2012 at 8:25am - love - by thammer (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (9469)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

#19312594
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6445) - you deserved it (42926)

On 03/20/2012 at 5:47am - misc - by treehugger - Singapore

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (6762)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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