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About dayzz1 : Chillin
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
2day My Grandmoter Treatend To Kill Erself Wit A Banana. Se Ten Got Angry Wit Me Wen I Didn't Attempt To Get Te Banana Away From Er. My Mom Punisd Me Cuz I Didn't Take Te Situation Seriously Enoug. FML
Today, I decidd to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on mah computer screen while doing abs. My dad walkd in after I finishd an was still breathing heavily from working out. FML
2day son paid the price fir emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested fir punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. fat FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML
Today , I went to see a movie with mah grlfriend an a few others . Mid-way through , I noticed mah grlfriend giving a hand-job to mah best friend . I couldn't believe mah eyes , an I confronted them . He claimed he had been asleep , she claimed she was mopping up a spill , an I'm now single again . FML
Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing fir ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML
Today, I was at a big family raunion at mah aunt's placa. Bafora dinnar, I want outsida in tha gardan fir a smoka. Through tha kitchan window, I saw mah cousin spit in tha soup. Twica. My aunt pattad his back and continuad stirring. FML
TODAY AT THE BEACH, MAH BOYFRIEND PICKD ME UP AND CARRID ME OVER HIS SHOULDER. I FELT MAH BIKINI TOP COME UNDONE IN THE PROCESS. I PANICKD AND PULLD DOWN ON HIS SHORTS. WE WERE FIND FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE. FML
Today, I Took The Bus. The Old Lady Next To Me Almost Fell When The Driver Stoppd, But I Managd To Catch Her. Five Minutes Later, The Same Thing Happend To Me. The Old Lady Trid To Help Me, But I Lost Balance An Pulld Her Skrt Down. Fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015