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dayzz1

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dayzz1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1749
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dayzz1 : Chillin

dayzz1's page activity

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dayzz1's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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dayzz1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (67238)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22068) - you deserved it (2848)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (2889)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (6646)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

#19795247
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (4658)

On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49775) - you deserved it (3359)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28249) - you deserved it (5477)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML

#19781202
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (3539)

On 06/13/2012 at 8:47am - money - by fuzzle003 (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

#19780392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (2131)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by eww - Austria (Wien)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40851) - you deserved it (3871)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (9010)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (4920)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



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