dayzz1

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dayzz1

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4228
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dayzz1 : Chillin

dayzz1's page activity

Visits<b>Kayouri</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:24am<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>Paksenarrion</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:34am<b>Alex5074</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:27pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:01am<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:19am<b>dkramer0313</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:45pm<b>dommiebear</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:04pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:25am<b>TheSoupe</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 10:35pm<b>yosico22</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:33pm<b>oasis359</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Mendez6</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:31am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:00am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:12pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:32am<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:27am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:29pm

Fucked!<b>dkramer0313</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 12:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:26pm

dayzz1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of dayzz1's badges

dayzz1's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

by oops123 / 07/16/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 1:06am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

by r4inb0wbrit3 / 07/13/2012 at 3:37am / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

by Jenna / 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

by BunniesOnAcid / 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

by Nick / 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

by friend / 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Kids

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

by tubby / 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health