dayzz1

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dayzz1

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4501
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dayzz1 : Chillin

dayzz1's page activity

Visits<b>Kayouri</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:24am<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>Paksenarrion</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:34am<b>Alex5074</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:27pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:01am<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:19am<b>dkramer0313</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:45pm<b>dommiebear</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:04pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:25am<b>TheSoupe</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 10:35pm<b>yosico22</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:33pm<b>oasis359</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Mendez6</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:31am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:00am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:12pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:32am<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:27am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:29pm

Fucked!<b>dkramer0313</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 12:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:26pm

dayzz1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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dayzz1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

by nalathelionqueen / 08/10/2012 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

by shastadoe / 08/06/2012 at 2:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, my fiancé told me that he was having second thoughts on our engagement. Instead of just calling it off, he took me to a fancy restaurant and took a public poll on whether we should get married. The majority said no. FML

by exfiancee / 08/05/2012 at 9:20am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

by wut / 08/05/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

by m / 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

by rejected4555 / 08/03/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 4:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals