Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5083
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dayzz1 : Chillin

dayzz1's page activity

Visits<b>Kayouri</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:24am<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:41pm<b>Paksenarrion</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:34am<b>Alex5074</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:27pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:01am<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:19am<b>dkramer0313</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:45pm<b>dommiebear</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:04pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:25am<b>TheSoupe</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 10:35pm<b>yosico22</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:33pm<b>oasis359</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Mendez6</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:31am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:00am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:12pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:32am<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:27am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:29pm

Fucked!<b>dkramer0313</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 12:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:26pm

dayzz1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of dayzz1's badges

dayzz1's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

by Faker / 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm / United States / Health

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

by N/A / 09/25/2012 at 12:13am / Canada (Alberta) / Health