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dayzz1

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dayzz1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1582
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dayzz1 : Chillin

dayzz1's page activity

Visits<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Lizey03</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:07am<b>deedeedeniel</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:21am<b>metalhead4740</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:30am<b>max2732</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:55pm<b>xcopex</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:37am<b>denbar</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:35pm<b>AnonymousFunFMLs</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:36pm<b>ratjar99</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:55am<b>D4rKn3SsHD_</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:11am<b>NWO666</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 5:40pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:41am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:44am<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:27pm<b>alpha126</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:29am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:46am<b>smittyjuan</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:12pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 3:23pm

dayzz1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of dayzz1's badges

dayzz1's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67178) - you deserved it (8849)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52829) - you deserved it (9139)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50755) - you deserved it (3468)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84145) - you deserved it (8042)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67166) - you deserved it (9912)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39695) - you deserved it (19416)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (15684)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (48078)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61465) - you deserved it (5378)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (9572)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (10711)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)



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