Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

davincidasecond

Offline (the 02/07/2016 at 5:04pm) | Search for a member

davincidasecond

11Fucked!

davincidasecond
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 February 1993 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5731
  • Number of comments : 627
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About davincidasecond : Weeeeell, I'm a:
Senior in college.
Rugby player/fan.
Comic book geek.
Guy who comes on FML to laugh.

Just a few things (out of thousands) to know about me. Feel free to shoot a message. But please, no creepers.

davincidasecond's page activity

Visits<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:38pm<b>ADDiva</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:24am<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:32pm<b>joco4</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:16pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:15pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:27pm<b>MoxieJones</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:26pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:39am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:58pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>ashpash207</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:46pm<b>undere</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:24pm<b>joshklander</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 4:42pm<b>WTFMyLifeSucks21</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:18pm

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:27am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:46am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:02pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:35am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 8:48pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:27am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:01am<b>_mittlieder_</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:24am

davincidasecond's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of davincidasecond's badges

davincidasecond's favorite FMLs

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

#21523193
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19961) - you deserved it (1944)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19544) - you deserved it (2591)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19808) - you deserved it (2421)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (1188)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (2252)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (2686)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19313) - you deserved it (1770)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (6673)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (1585)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23309) - you deserved it (5041)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

#21521010
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/30/2016 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML

#21520859
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11758) - you deserved it (24694)

On 01/29/2016 at 4:19pm - love - by ALL PRAISE TO THE NIGHT MOTHER (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling terrible and posted on Facebook about how I was stressed out and feeling really lonely. My sister replied saying "#fatfuckproblems". 13 people liked it and some so-called friends posted stuff like "rekt" and "SLAYED, bitch!", all in less than a minute. FML

#21520812
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18572) - you deserved it (4177)

On 01/29/2016 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

#21520387
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22104) - you deserved it (1563)

On 01/28/2016 at 11:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (1561)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: