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davie101

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davie101

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3212
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About davie101 : Aw, poo!

davie101's page activity

Visits<b>pharaohmonkey</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 10:52pm

davie101's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

davie101's favorite FMLs

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39529) - you deserved it (3281)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45636) - you deserved it (2690)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (5083)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36805) - you deserved it (5856)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

#17161191
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34170) - you deserved it (3620)

On 07/18/2011 at 9:08am - misc - by _TaToRtOt_ (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (3168)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

#17144161
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (4517)

On 07/17/2011 at 1:16am - work - by Auston (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (8204)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13906) - you deserved it (62017)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

#17112659
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41027) - you deserved it (4442)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by gross - Canada

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29179) - you deserved it (86797)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (2357)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (2734)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119996) - you deserved it (5968)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67034) - you deserved it (6966)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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