davie101

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davie101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5984
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About davie101 : Aw, poo!

davie101's page activity

Visits<b>pharaohmonkey</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 10:52pm

davie101's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

davie101's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

by Tali / 07/28/2011 at 2:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

by corasmom / 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

by frankkathy / 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

by ceetee / 07/26/2011 at 9:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 12:30am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

by Bec / 07/25/2011 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm / United States / Love

Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML

by coffee girl / 07/22/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

by Roode / 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

by Roode / 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

by oliverP123 / 07/22/2011 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

by ohmygosh / 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work